I believe that a good starting point for my first Blog is my signature about Patches the Bear.
“Patches is more than a lovable bear. He is the Spirit of a child’s innocence. Patches is a gift of love created to empower our children to endure challenges, through life’s journey of happy times and painful moments. Thank you for taking the first step to help a child gain understanding, enabling them to express their emotions.”
It is that “Spirit” within that allows a child to be open to the world and create as his/her imagination gives them wings to fly and explore. It is a wonderful quality that children possess and we adults need to find again. I recently launched the “Pennies For Patches” campaign to help the children of our military. While this “War thing” causes many unpleasant conversations and uncomfortable moments, the resilience of some of these children is just amazing. In the last two years, I have sent Patches to children who have lost a Mom or Dad to this War. There are those children enduring the trials of a soldier, Daddy or Mommy with PTSD, with anger issues and divorce rising. Or perhaps Mom or Dad is a wounded warrior who doesn’t look like Mommy or Daddy anymore. Then there are the multiple deployments, where they say good bye and live in fear everyday that Mom or Dad may not return. While many are showing the signs of the stress on their emotional health, some are amazing in their resilience. In fact they are truly inspiring. And for the most part they are under the age of six. I believe this will be the start of a blog that will send you into a range of emotions and the question is…Are you as brave as these children? Can you come back and endure “life’s journey of happy times and painful moments”? Can we take the first step together to help us all gain an understanding in our emotions and express them in a healthy way, that helps to support these children? And perhaps an amazing thing will happen and we will transform back to a time when we were more open and resilient to better support the environment around us and our children. Please, come back tomorrow to hear about an amazing little boy named Dallas. “Patches Hugs” to all !
A Patches Ambassador
As promised, tonight is all about a special boy named Dallas who lives in North Carolina. I was contacted by his Mom, Tracy, who wanted to run a “Pennies for Patches” Campaign with her Home School Group. I was very excited initially and then totally intrigued the more she told me about her son. Approximately two years ago, Dallas was six years of age; he received a gift from a friend. The present was a military uniform and combat boots, something most little boys would love to have to play soldier out in the yard with their friends, which he did. The next gift he received at a later date was a WWll Helmet and a backpack and his collection has grown from there. Now Dallas takes his “pretend soldier” training very seriously. You see he wants to be a soldier, a medic to be exact, when he grows up. He has a heart for these men and women who go off to war and serve their country and he has a heart for God. Dallas wants to help save soldiers in battle one day, to be exact save their bodies and save their souls. I was truly in awe of this little boy, an eight year old, who says, “Mom I can’t smile in all my pictures, because Army men aren’t supposed to smile, they are working.” Now Dallas is very vocal about how he feels about the military and his country. When the family or he and his Mom are out and Dallas may see a couple of soldiers he will beg his Mom to please let him go over and talk to them. The soldiers in turn are so Blessed by this little boy making them feel special and he tells them how he appreciates what they are doing to protect us. The tears are streaming down my face at this point for how poignant this picture would be to see in person. Dallas has no opinion about politics or whether there should be a war or not. All he knows is that there is one and these brave men and women are fighting the battle for our freedom. Dallas also doesn’t tip toe around when he supports these soldiers, nor does he worry about what someone will think if he does speak up and support them. The “innocence of a child” reminds us of how life should be. Children remind us of the present moment, not yesterday, nor tomorrow, but the right here and now. No holding back! Now Dallas does not have a perfect life all of the time, just like most of us on this planet. He has tough times when he is upset or angry but his ability to reason and focus his emotions is inspiring to say the least. Dallas says that God has him in training, and for every bad thing, he says they are just bullets firing at him. When he prays hard he knows he has a “bullet proof vest on.” All this training he feels is preparing him to be a better soldier one day. I sent a Patches Bear down to Dallas and I just received an email from his Mom telling me they bought a military uniform for Patches, complete with dog tags. Tracy is actually trying to have a matching BDU uniform just like the soldiers wear made for Patches. When I do an update on our little Ambassador Dallas I am sure it will be complete with his matching pal Patches and his BDU’s! Also in another Blog we will talk about children of the military families and why Patches does not wear a uniform, but this is not applicable to Dallas. Truly, Dallas is and will be a Blessing to so many who will not otherwise hear those words of support and appreciation. One of the main reasons I started this campaign was to hopefully remind people that these families sacrifice so much. Dallas in his kindness and obvious “over-riding” of the negative I am sure he hears out there in the world about the war and our military is doing the loving and kind thing that we all need to reach out and do, regardless of politics or opinions. Can you imagine what a gift we could give to our children by doing the loving and kind act? We never know who may be in ear shot of someone speaking negatively about the war. There is a very good chance there is someone nearby, possibly even a child who has a Mom or Dad over there in Iraq or Afghanistan, living in fear every day, wondering if they will return. The other part of this picture is that these families are separated for very long periods of time, because they believe in what they are doing to protect their country. So I have a really big favor to ask….Could we please try to be more like Dallas, and do the loving and kind act. Support our soldiers and tell them when you see them. And if a child tells you his Mom or Dad is over there, praise him for being such a brave soldier at home. These children, with so much to carry on their shoulders truly are our “Youngest Heroes.” Until next time, “Patches Hugs to all.”
This has been an amazing week with all kinds of wonderful people coming into my life via the internet, all because of Patches. As I have been returning emails and phone calls to people wanting to help get Patches to military children and also other children who can benefit from his warm fuzzy hugs and his little emotion face helpers, I was reminded that this week is a special anniversary for someone who was truly an inspiration to me at different times in his life and he was on my mind when Patches was conceived.
This little boy, Eric, was truly a courageous soul who tried with all his heart to cope with the life he was dealt. Eric was very talented and could write poetry and draw and always had you laughing, especially when he was a little boy and imitated Snoopy as the Red Barron. He had it down perfect.
Unfortunately, much of Eric’s life was not spent laughing, but was spent between hurt, anger, disappointment, loneliness and feeling as if he were nothing more than a “shadow”, to quote him exactly. Eric was rejected by his biological mother and in fact she tried to abort him before he was born with a clothes hanger. He was beaten, verbally abused and sexually abused by his Father, and through it all he was never mean spirited. He always looked for the kindness in people and was especially sweet to the ladies as he became old enough to know what “like and love” were. Truly, he just wanted to really feel loved and that became his addiction. You see when children are hurt the way Eric was hurt, they spend the rest of their lives looking and seeking love and acceptance, which we all want and need. Only with intervention and much support and therapy can a child even begin to blend their hurt self with who they want to become. This is what drives me to reach out and say we must help and support those children who lives are so difficult and they try so hard to cope and survive. Other’s like our militaries children also have much to deal with and for very long periods of time.
This week is the anniversary of Eric’s death. He was 24 years of age and he could no longer cope with the feelings of being just a shadow in life. He hung himself in his baby boy’s room. It has been 25 years and it still feels like yesterday. I miss you so much, my little brother, Eric, and Patches is for all of those children whose feelings are dying inside because they need to be loved and supported through their journey of really tough times. Patches Hugs to all……….
Tonight, MommyPR - Launched a very special Review/ Giveaway to help two Charities Get the word out about supporting Military Children. The second charity is to help fight Child Abuse. I joined forces with Dreamcatchers For Child Abuse to help promote the need to understand child abuse and how we need to do so much more to protect these children. Child Abuse is a Cause near and dear to my heart and I feel Blessed to know Sandra Potter and Dreamcatchers For Abused Children. Sandra is an amazing woman who has taken her fear and devastation of her own child being sexually abused and has started a very active crusade to stop Child Abuse in its tracks. Sandra introduced me to MommyPR and this Bear Review and Giveaway is very exciting! Please take the time to visit both Dreamcatchers For Child Abuse and MommyPR. Thank you and Patches Hugs to all!!!!
The “GLAD GAME”
Many years ago I saw a movie called Pollyanna. Now at the time I was a young girl and although I understood the basic concept of the movie, it was not until much later in life I truly understood the depth of attitude, which is what this movie was all about. For those who are not familiar with it or the Classic book, basically Pollyanna’s philosophy of life centers on what she calls “The Glad Game”, an optimistic attitude she learned from her father. The game consists of finding something to be glad about in every situation. It originated in an incident one Christmas when Pollyanna, who was hoping for a doll in the missionary barrel, found only a pair of crutches inside. Making the game up on the spot, Pollyanna’s father taught her to look at the good side of things—in this case, to be glad about the crutches because “we don’t need them.” Now Pollyanna ends up living with her very wealthy but stern and strict Aunt, and begins winning souls and teaching everyone the “Glad Game” and winning over even the most pessimistic of this small New England town.
Life was really happy for awhile and then Pollyanna’s enthusiasm and positive attitude is put to the test when she is hit by a car and looses the use of her legs. Pollyanna is now herself struggling to find something to be glad about in this terrible situation. It is then the town that comes together and all begin visiting Pollyanna to tell her how she has encouraged them and improved their lives. Pollyanna eventually comes to a place where she agrees she can play the “Glad Game” and be happy she had legs at one time. Now this is a story so of course, Pollyanna’s Aunt married the rich Doctor in town and they take Pollyanna to a special hospital where she will have surgery that will give her back the use of her legs. “Happy Ending.” Now the question is, what does it take to help a child who will not regain the use of his legs or bring back someone she loves???
Every day we have the opportunity to have compassion and patience, and do or say something good for someone, as you may never have the opportunity again for that particular circumstance. There are a few lines from an Emily Dickson poem that say,
“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
“If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting Robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.”
As adults we recognize how truly difficult the “Glad Game” is and how many times there just does not seem to be anything to be glad about in a tough circumstance. I am witnessing this everyday as I receive the names of our Fallen Heroes and then I have to send Patches the Bear with his little emotion face helpers to their children, just like Pollyanna, who cannot imagine their world without their Mom or Dad. These children are so amazing to me as they eventually begin to pull themselves together like little soldiers and try to move forward in their young lives. While the “Glad Game” may be a little unrealistic when it is the death of a parent the child is dealing with, the encouragement and the love and support is the same. Think of all the times when you were sad or upset about something and those little faces come up to you, your children, and say, “it’s going to be alright….” Children have a natural instinct to comfort first, and not think too much about the “unpleasantness” of the circumstances. We need to find that childlike mindset and reach out and be encourager’s for those in pain, distress, and devastation as the opportunity may not come again. Please take the time to thank a soldier or volunteer to do something to encourage and show you care. It is truly an honor and a gift to Bless another. Thank you and Patches Hugs to all.
Faces of Our Fallen Heroes Children
Fuzzy Hugs and a Pocket Full Of Feelings
Had anyone told me three years ago that I would have created and manufactured a Teddy Bear with little emotion faces to help children talk about their feelings I would have said, “I don’t think so.” Alas, here we are three years later and Patches the Bear and his eight emotion faces are out there in the world, making homes with thousands of children and delivering fuzzy hugs and a pocket full of feelings. Now I knew there must be a reason I would have said, “I don’t think so,” and that would be for the simple fact I would not want to be the one to open that can of worms in a million years. In order to have children openly talk about their feelings and emotions would mean that we adults have to be ready for anything that may come out of their sweet little mouths with total innocence and wonder. I am a mother of two grown children and that is a totally scary place to be with anyone never mind a child, your child who trusts you to be honest and guide them down this path of communication. Since I am one who never really began to communicate until I was 34 years old and my children at that point were 14 years and 7 years, well there is quite a bit of time where I may or may not have handled situations as I should have in the communication category. Simply said I was an abuse survivor with mega issues and did well just to keep my own life together and not leaking holes that I couldn’t plug. Ah, but you see there is one catch with that scenario of keeping the holes plugged and that is eventually the hole keeps popping up again and again and pretty soon one strong hit or storm and the whole scenario comes apart. So what was I thinking when I openly stepped out there when my world came tumbling down and began to speak up for children? Initially, I’ll tell you exactly what it was. It was cathartic for me to try and save other children, although I didn’t know that at the time, as I was to busy trying to counter all the attention now falling on the brokenness of Kathylee. Yikes, there was no way I wanted to deal with all the emotional baggage from the past and especially talk about it and who I was at the time and the work I needed to do on me. NO WAY!!! And yes I now had two children of my own that I was struggling to not be an over protective parent and to allow my children to fall and to make choices on their own so they would develop a sense of self and the confidence to thrive and flourish in this world. The problem comes when we try to build a strong foundation for our family and children, and our own foundation is based in misbelieves, because of fear and pain in the past. So there it is….that can of worms I didn’t want to open for myself or anyone else. Here lies the dilemma. I have spent over twenty years working on myself and realizing that you can survive and “Have A Wonderful Life,” but we have to do the work, and it does come down to communication and feelings and how we perceive ourselves in the world around us. Children are always the future and we the adults, prepare them for that future. We live in a time that has become very scary on many levels for the adults who recognize the happenings on our planet. Now take that feeling and imagine how much more frightening it is for a child if they cannot truly open up and express and talk about how they are feeling. Exactly. I have learned so much from watching and listening to the children Patches has found a home with and it has been a real eye opener just how much children really do understand, but do not say for fear of “upsetting us,” the adults in their lives. I do not know where this will lead us but I would like to invite you to follow this blog for the next several months and maybe a year as I share with you the journey I have been on and what I have seen with these truly brave children and the issues they are dealing with or not and what we can do to help these children be ok with talking about their feelings and how to constructively deal with them so they can grow up healthy, emotional adults. Will we save the world, probably not, but if we can begin to make a shift in this whole communication thing and we start saving children who would otherwise parish from abuse, neglect, drugs, alcohol or even suicide, then we have done something really useful in preserving the future of our country. So, if you’re feeling courageous and want to do something to really make a difference in the future, make the commitment here and now to follow us, through the good times and the tough times with , “Fuzzy Hugs and a Pocket Full of Feelings.” Next post will be Thursday night. Until then, Patches Hugs to all.
